Charlie Kirk, Empathy and Leaving Room for Difference

In light of the recent tragic murder of Charlie Kirk, I wanted to share some of my reflections with you all. Now, I'll start by saying that I needed to take time for myself to really process the impact of what occurred. In fact, I'm still in disbelief that what happened actually happened. When I heard the news of him being gunned down initially, it was a devastating blow. But once I heard he actually died, my heart was broken. I felt like I lost someone I loved, a member of my human family. I was crushed. As the day went on, I felt spacey, disoriented and unable to focus. It was really hard for me to continue with my day, to seamlessly carry out my mundane tasks. I just could not wrap my head around all of this. It was a sobering moment, reminding me of where we are as a nation and the work that still needs to be done.

With that being said, while I felt absolutely heartbroken about what I heard and kind of saw (I did not watch the raw footage for my own sanity), I observed many other people feeling otherwise. Some felt the same way as I did, while others felt flat, numb, confused. Some were even celebrating. The average person would find this kind of response despicable. They would say something like "You're evil if you celebrate this type of thing" or "You're what's wrong with the world." I won't say that they're wrong in what they feel, but I will say that I disagree with the train of thought itself. I have already shared in my past videos/blogs/posts why I feel it's inaccurate and, quite frankly, detrimental, to assume that any hurtful or harmful word or action is "evil." To categorize certain feelings, thoughts or actions as "evil" halts the journey of discovery into understanding the complexity of the human experience. This is especially true if evil is seen the way so many people seem to see it: something/someone inherently deplorable that cannot be remedied. I assume people see evil this way because once this label is given, people often refuse to understand the origins of why the behavior occurred and why it is expressed the way that it is. The conversation usually ends there. I believe the easiest key to implement in order to transform such an absolute mindset is that of curiosity.

Throughout my years of spiritual development, which includes periods of challenge, testing, training, ups, middles and downs, I have learned the importance of curiosity, acknowledgement, validation and space holding. Even if I myself do not feel how someone else feels, it's become increasingly important for me to at least have the capacity to fathom and understand WHY someone feels the way they do. Approaching this with a curious, experimental mindset can be helpful here. Ask yourself, "If I put myself in their position to the best of my ability, could I see myself feeling the same way?" I think it's important for everyone to be willing to consider this approach if we want unity the way we say we do. Can you understand why someone would feel apathetic or even celebratory over the death of a figure whose views were, at times, controversial, problematic and at times just straight up inaccurate? Can you imagine why someone who is a part of the groups and communities he denounced and belittled, would feel numb to the idea that he can no longer share these views with the world? If not, it may be time to look at your capacity for empathy. It is in fact, empathy and compassion, not sympathy alone, that will bring us closer to unity. We need to be open to the idea that we as humans are not immune to certain ways of thinking and being, regardless of how extreme and opposite to our nature it might be. If we were raised under different conditions, we may have turned out differently. With that being said, as a member of my human family, I need to be able to put myself in your position to the best of my ability so I can at least consider why you might feel the way you feel if I truly want to be in a unified world. But I know this can be difficult for many people as this would cause them to ask even deeper, more personal questions about their relationship to themselves, to others and to life in general, which can cause a bit of a existential crisis. But I'll save this for another blog.

That brings me to my next point. Other responses I'm seeing to this tragedy revolve around wanting people to come together, to love each other and to stop the hate. In my humble opinion, this is quite a big ask. Imagine if I told you to just "love" someone on the street that you do not know. Most people would be like "ok, easy" and their actions may include offering kind gestures such as saying hello, helping them with their grocery bags, giving them hugs, etc. This may seem nice, but it is a temporary solution to an even deeper issue within humanity. The capacity to truly love another is beyond surface level, kind gestures; it begins with the ability to know, accept and love oneself, something most people have difficulty with. Most people do not act within their own best interest, doing things that create suffering for themselves. This is not loving and it does not allow someone the ability to truly "take up space" in life, to truly embody who they are as a Divine human. We tend to be very hard on ourselves and put ourselves in positions where we do what we think is right based on other people's views of what's right as opposed to what is internally accurate for ourselves. If we cannot do what is loving for ourselves, how can we take loving actions on another's behalf? After all, how we treat others is a reflection of our own inner world. To love is to understand. Can I truly love someone I have not put in the effort to understand on a deeper level? Can I truly love someone when I have refused to understand why they feel how they feel? Furthermore, can I truly understand or even make an effort to understand someone else when I have a surface level understanding of who I am? This doesn't mean we have to agree or condone their actions. We can still remain firm in what we believe and also leave room for other people's perspectives and experiences. 

I, under no circumstances, support violence against another human being for sharing their views. What happened to Mr. Kirk was abominable. Regardless of what his opinions were, he in no way deserved to be killed publicly in such a brutal manner. This event will forever have an indelible impact on my psyche... the fact that I live in a world where something so horrendous could happen. In that same vein, I hold no ill feelings towards those who feel differently than myself. Another point I'll add to this is that I do not agree with celebrating murder. I don't actually think it contributes anything positive to us as a collective besides serving as a potential mirror into our deeper emotional states. But I can see how a response is not beneficial while also understanding the "why" behind people doing it. What I feel will bring integration is not condemnation towards another's experience but rather curiosity, acknowledgement and grace. These aforementioned qualities can allow more room for discussion so people can feel heard, rather than dismissed for their experience of life. If we truly want unity the way we say we do, we'll need to at least consider it.

Much love,

Saiedah

Here's a video I just posted on the same topic. Watch here: